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We’ve all been angry at work. Yes, I know, we’ve been taught to check our personal stuff at the door, but really, is that possible? But the question is, what are you angry about? Are you angry in your personal life and can’t put it aside while you’re at work? Or are you angry at something that is actually happening at work?
If you’re angry about life outside of work
- Your child is having trouble at school
- You’re late on your bills
- Your significant other is acting like a jerk
- Your mother won’t stop nagging
These sorts of things happen to all of us and are legitimate reasons to be angry or upset. These are also the things that can’t come into the workplace.
That doesn’t mean you’re supposed to turn off your feelings completely and become a robot. That’s not possible. It’s ok to vent a little to a trusted colleague, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. This should help you calm down enough to do your job without causing problems for the work atmosphere. You have enough to deal with – you don’t want to have a problem with your boss because you’re acting out at work.
So these are the things you have to avoid:
- Sulking
- Speaking disrespectfully to anyone (supervisor, colleagues, clients, visitors, anyone)
- Closing yourself in an office or anywhere when you should be doing something else
- Spending excessive time on your phone on personal business
If you can’t keep from doing these things, then you need to take some time off. No matter what you’re dealing with, creating an additional problem at work because of it will make your life even harder.
If you’re angry at work and it’s about something that is actually happening at work
This may be a different story.
Everything above still applies. You don’t want to act out and turn yourself into the problem.
There are many different issues that could be going on at work that could cause you to be angry:
- bullying (of yourself or someone else)
- mistreatment of clients or employees
- a hostile work environment
- dishonest practices
- lots of other possibilities
Issues such as those listed above, and others, really should be brought into the open and addressed. At the same time, you don’t want let your anger get the better of you, thereby creating problems for you and diminishing your credibility in terms of trying to improve the problems in the workplace.
Here are some rules of thumb when dealing with a work situation that makes you angry:
- Avoid gossiping about the situation. Gossip is never productive; it just leads to inaccurate information and too much involvement of people who really can’t help.
- Document whatever you are witnessing clearly, including dates and times. If writing is not your strongest area, then get someone you trust to read it over to be sure that your written documentation is clear to anyone who would read it.
- Speak with the right people: those who can actually help with the situation
- If your organization has a written process by which you can report problems, use it. Don’t gossip about the problem. Take the steps necessary to try to resolve it.
- If there is no specific written procedure, start with your supervisor. Anything else makes it look like you’re doing something other than legitimately trying to resolve a problem. Even if you feel like your supervisor is part of the problem, speak with them first and document the conversation. Take notes. Do not ever record anyone without their permission.
- Think long and hard before sending angry emails far and wide (for more on this, read Email Etiquette – Five Rules for More Effective Communication at Work)
- Be very clear that you want to be part of the solution.
- Stay professional
- Do not gossip or throw around accusations
- Do not give anyone any ammunition to use to point you out as the problem
- Continue to do your job professionally and to the best of your ability
- avoid sarcasm and passive-aggressive behavior
You will not be able to resolve every problem at work. Take it from my many years of experience: what you perceive as unacceptable will not be perceived the same way by everyone.
But you do have an obligation to do your best if there is truly a situation at work that could cause harm to you, other staff or clients. Following the guidelines in this post will give you the best possibility of being part of the solution rather than getting caught up in making the problem worse.
For more information, read Handling Anger at Work.
