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Gossip. It exists in every workplace. You’ve experienced it. You’ve probably engaged in it. It’s easy to join in a conversation that belittles someone else, usually with absolutely no facts to back up whatever is being said.
Sometimes gossip at work can make the day go by quicker. But is that what you want to do? Work at a job where the best part of the day is engaging in gossip? It might be fun for a while, but is that how you want to spend your work life? Is that what you want to have to show for your effort?
You’re better than that and you have much more important things to do
So, how should you deal with gossip at work?
My answer is Stay Out of It.
You could confront the gossipers and make them understand that what they are doing in non-productive. Some people can do that successfully. But, if you’re not yet one of those people, you can still stand up to gossips.
How? Just by not engaging.
You know those people who have to make high drama out of every little thing. Doesn’t that get exhausting to listen to after a while? Why do you need to engage at all?
Next time someone says, “Did you hear about what Mary did?” you can just say, “No, I have to get back to work. Have a great day.” Then you might want to befriend Mary rather than gossip about her.
So maybe now you will become the target of gossip. To that I have to ask, “So what?” There will always be someone moving their mouth for no good reason. That doesn’t need to have anything to do with you. As long as you concentrate on being a decent person and doing the best job you can, let ‘em talk.
If, however, you choose to engage with the gossips, their negativity is going to rub off on you. That makes you a follower, and without the good judgment to know who to follow.
I’ll say it again: You’re better than that.
Sometimes there are legitimate issues at work that need to be addressed. Maybe a colleague did something that could have caused harm to a client or another person. You don’t want to just ignore that. But you can do it the right way.
If you need to have a difficult or uncomfortable conversation with somebody, go directly to that person and ask to have a mature discussion. Office politics just confuse and exacerbate the situation. It’s much better to involve yourself directly with someone rather than engage in gossip beforehand. Or afterwards.
Have the conversation and then don’t talk about it with anyone else. There’s no need and, if you did have a mature and productive conversation, you’ve just ruined any good you did if you gossip about it afterwards.
You can read more here on Dealing with Difficult People at Work.
Gossip needs an audience
If you walk away from the juicy story at the water cooler, you’re helping to reduce that audience. That’s one fewer person contributing to the negativity. You could start a revolution just be going back to your desk!
Sometimes gossip isn’t about a specific person but just general complaining about the work environment, administrators, whatever the topic. The issues may be legitimate, but just gossiping about them is never productive.
Here, you might make a suggestion. You could say something like, “That’s a really important point. Can I help you write that down so we can take it, and our proposed solution, to the corporate office?”
Even if there aren’t any takers that time, you’ve planted a seed. Keep at it and you could have an impact on actually getting some of your workplace issues addressed.
Luckily, positivity is as contagious as negativity. This is another good way to combat gossip: why not choose to smile, say good morning and thank you to your colleagues, admin and cleaning staff. Some basic good manners and friendliness can lift the mood of the whole office. It can also mark you out as a positive team member and potential leader.
People always remember how you made them feel, so make sure you try to make people feel good! Even gossips aren’t immune to positive energy.
Talking about THEM
You know you’re in the midst of unproductive office gossip when there is a constant reference to “them” and “they”: the nameless, faceless people in charge who are all-empowered and yet always do a terrible job.
I was explaining to a job candidate why I couldn’t hire him without a driver’s license (not all jobs require a license, but this particular job did). This candidate kept saying, “Can’t they make an exception?”
My response was, “There’s no They. There’s just Us, and we need people who can drive the agency vehicles.”
That’s another way to diffuse general work gossip: Using “I” statements. There is no “they.” When someone says, “They just keep giving us more to do with no direction,” you can say, “I understand what you mean. I was worried about a recent assignment. I spoke with Keisha about it. She was pretty helpful. Do you want me to give her a call?”
That’s assuming you actually did speak with Keisha, but the point is that you can be the positive influence. You’re not telling others what not to do or say. Rather, you’re just mentioning what you did do that was helpful and offering assistance to others. This won’t stop gossip in its tracks forever but, again, it’s planting seeds.
Don’t engage on social media
It might be tempting, but what is the point? People who engage in gossip on social media are not worth your time. You can never make yourself look good, you can only become part of the problem. You’re better than that. Just stay away.
I never friend or follow people with whom I work. I just don’t. There’s little to gain and so much potential for problems. What if people are bashing your workplace on social media? Joining in is unprofessional and it will be out there on the Internet forever for future employers to see.
At the same time, coming to the rescue is also a hazard. You’d just be setting yourself up for attack and what would be the point?
You also don’t want to try to be helpful by giving someone (your boss, your colleague, HR, anyone) a “heads up” about negative things people are saying on social media. There is probably nothing that can be done about it (unless proven that it was done during work time using a work computer or account). It’s better just to leave it alone and not engage at all.
Better yet, if you don’t engage with colleagues on social media, you won’t see it and can’t end up involved, whatever your intent.
Gossip at work is a part of life, but you can minimize its impact by choosing more positive ways of relating to others at work.
